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(kein Betreff) [Sep. 24., 2007|11:21 am]
Hey everyone

I have a new journal

I'm still going to keep this one but it probably will remain inactive for a while, as my new journal is to document my time in France

So if you want to keep up to date then add me!


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(kein Betreff) [Mai. 17., 2007|09:58 pm]
Gracious, I am soon to be teaching English to French teenagers. This is an incredibly and exciting prospect, my own personal project and adventure. I intend to grab it with both hands and make the most of every second, because this is probably one of the most exciting and independant things I will do for a long time, I am lucky! Too many exciting things are going on right now, I'm getting a little dizzy. I soon depart for Europe, most certainly the scariest thing I have done to date (not sure the tenses make sense there), and the excitement it overwhelming me. Life is awesome when you do it properly. What's more is that I have someone amazing and wonderful sticking by me right through my crazy decisions. He hasn't mentioned even once that he wants me to stay, and I am so grateful for that. 

Right now I am in a zombie-like state, floating through revision and exams. Hopefully soon I will revert back to 'alive' and things will be fun again. I'm not allowing myself to go out at the moment, whether I stay in and revise or watch rubbish on TV, socialising is off the cards until I am exam-free. That is a half-hearted promise.
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(kein Betreff) [Mär. 7., 2007|04:18 pm]
[Aktuelle Stimmung |morosemorose]
[Aktuelle Musik |Simon and Garfunkel]

So what is new?

1) I got a new hair cut
2) I resigned from Bettys
3) I have lost over a stone through ill-health
4) I'm totally loving Simon and Garfunkel

What isn't new?

1) I am still stressed out and ill and in a horrible mood constantly.

I'm getting a little fed up of all this, hence the spur-of-the-moment haircut. I need something new, a change of scenery or something, anything to put a bit of colour in things again. Me and Ben are thinking of going on a little holiday over easter, but due to my lack of job it looks unlikely. I have applied for a couple of things, one 2 week placement on a french holiday-school in Wales, which is scary but exciting. I'm getting rather fed-up of myself, I need to do something completely crazy and scary so I can re-asess things and find out what's going on.
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Does he love you? [Feb. 15., 2007|09:22 am]
[Aktuelle Stimmung |lovedloved]
[Aktuelle Musik |Rilo Kiley]

Yesterday really was the best Valentine's Day ever. I wasn't expecting much but I was very wrong, which resulted in some serious guilt on my part!

First of all I got a gorgeous bunch of tulips on Ben's arrival home =D 

I made some very passionate gingerbread men for a present for my housemates but they ended up a bit burned =(

Then I gave Ben his present - I got him some parsnip crisps, which are his favourite, although I realised as I was wrapping them that they were out of date, so I need to take them back! I also got him a Thornton's chocolate lollipop, some M&S organic speckled hen chocolate eggs and some stuff for sore lips because Ben is girly.

So everything was ok.

Until he brought me my card and my next present.

The card entitles me to 'an all-expenses-paid meal for 2 with Ben Thompson'...and I also got a CD of 'Clint Smith' (support act of Ben Folds) who is in fact called Clem Snide!

So needless to say I cooked tea.

I'm going to see Regina later!!!!
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Happy Valentine's Day!! [Feb. 14., 2007|10:11 am]
[Aktuelle Stimmung |lovedloved]
[Aktuelle Musik |Modest Mouse]

I'm feeling festive and lovey-dovey, I do apologise.

Yesterday I died but I'm getting a bit better now. It's a good job as tomorrow I'm going to Manchester to see Regina Spektor and I would be so distraught if I had to miss it! 

The postman just knocked at the door. I was hoping it might be a huge bunch of red roses, but in fact it was a large pile of parcels for Adam.

Oh well.
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(kein Betreff) [Feb. 10., 2007|12:06 am]
[Aktuelle Stimmung |sadsad]
[Aktuelle Musik |Joni Mitchell]

Sometimes everything goes wrong in one big lump and I hate it.

The good news is I don't have glandular fever.

The bad news is this means I don't know what's wrong with me.

Today wasn't bad, and got progressively worse. At 12 things feel ok though, today it is saturday and I have to be positive because I have a massive french essay to write. 

At the moment I am feeling pretty lost. I don't feel like I know anyone, life is lots of Vanbrugh and cold and then hot. I spend a lot of time laughing with people I don't really know very well and I like that. But I don't like the feeling that I'm not really sure if I know anyone at all anymore. I don't like how unpredictable people can be, it makes me uncomfortable, but what makes me more uncomfortable is how unpredictable I can be, even to myself. 

I had a wonderful time last night with John and Lindsay and Cat and Dan and Tom. It was nice and I want more of these times. 

I love Joni Mitchell by the way. She makes me want sadness and a broken heart so I can appreciate her fully.
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(kein Betreff) [Jan. 28., 2007|11:14 am]
[Aktuelle Stimmung |creativecreative]
[Aktuelle Musik |Annie Waits in my head]

Yesterday I went to see BEN FOLDS in Manchester and he was fantastic and awesome and brilliant and excellent!!!!!

We (Ben and me) spent the afternoon in Manchester and it was scary and uncomfortable and to the brim with fashion and tall skinny men and kids trying to fit in. But I quite liked it all the same, ezpezily Selfridges which was colourful and big and grand. I sampled an orange-stuffed olive and Ben bought Reece's Cups and I saw for the first time EVER Lucky Charms and sushi on a conveyor belt. We drank (very weak) tea in Caffe Nero and ate Marks and Spencers sandwiches and then went on Mission: FInd Appollo. Anyway it was easy to find and we were almost at the front of the queue in the freezing cold for an hour. We had bananas and ginger nuts though so all was ok. I bought a Tshirt and we got to almost the front - 3 rows back though lots of tall men stood in my way. The support act (Clint Smith? something along those lines) was crazy and had a white suit on (crazy) and his voice was beautiful and his guitar skills were great. I enjoyed him, I may look up his CD in the future. Then a mean lady pushed right to the front and the small girl in front of me who looked shy and mousy took her on and made her cry. I felt triumphant though actually I had nothing to do with this apart from a sneering look in her direction. 

And then....BEN FOLDS!!!! He is so awesomly geeky, and so were his band. He was fantasic, a great live performer, a great entertainer and an absolutely fantastic piano player. He had an awesome little synthesizer which made the experience all the more 80s and he was so unsensitive and sensitive at the same time. I wasn't so impressed when he threw the piano stool at the piano, a bit too rock and roll and TOTALLY unnecessary in my opinion but he was awesome all the same. To top it all off, as the lights came on so did Waterloo Sunset, so I was rather happy on the way out. 

On the train back a drunk man got on and made us all feel uncomfortable..."do not provoke my mind" he kept saying and then a big man had an argument with him and told him to STOP BEING SO DRUNK AND DISORDERLY!!!!!!! 

Today I am fed up and im my pyjamas. I don't want tomorrow to come but it's almost afternoon already. I will wear my Ben Folds Tshirt and play some guitar and do some work maybe. I have been invited to a girly night but I don't think I will attend as I don't fancy ice cream and pizza and romantic films. I'm not girly, I may go to the man night and play poker, that sounds more fun. And I don't need romantic films, I have my Ben with his goofy smile!

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(kein Betreff) [Jan. 20., 2007|10:46 pm]
[Aktuelle Stimmung |apatheticapathetic]

I'm tired and my mind is in turmoil. I'm listening to Alkaline Trio, I'd forgotten how much I enjoy them. I'm feeling old and lost and the past is way too far away. Last night I was lying in bed after a brilliant night out and my mind was racing some psycholgical analysis on me. Graphic details came back of insignificant events which still have the power to make me cry, it just won't do. I suppose when things are good these things don't matter anymore, but start mattering again when things stop going well. 

In 2006 I...

[ ] stayed single
[x] got kissed
[ ] kissed someone new
[x] kissed in the snow
[x] kissed in the rain
[ ] had my heart broken
[ ] broke someone else's heart
[ ] had a stalker
[ ] lost a friend
[x] had a good relationship with someone
[ ] questioned my sexual orientation
[ ] came out of my closet
[ ] got pregnant
[ ] had an abortion
[ ] got married
[ ] had a divorce
[ ] kissed someone of the same sex
[ ] met someone that I will never forget
[x] did something I regret
[ ] lost faith in love for awhile
[ ] kissed under mistletoe 
[ ] got my first job
[ ] got a promotion
[x] got a pay raise - 5p!
[ ] changed jobs
[ ] lost my job
[ ] quit my job - contemplated it millions of times
[ ] dated a co-worker
[ ] dated my boss
[ ] dated my boss's son/ daughter
[ ] got fired from my job
[ ] got straight A's
[ ] failed a class 
[x] cut class
[ ] skipped school
[x] did something I was proud of
[ ] fell in love with a teacher
[x] was involved in something that I will never forget
[ ] painted a picture
[ ] wrote a poem 
[ ] ran a mile
[x] listened to music I couldn't stand
[ ] double dipped
[ ] skinny dipped
[ ] went to a sleepover
[ ] went camping
[x] threw a surprise party
[x] laughed till I cried
[ ] flirted shamelessly
[x] visited a foreign country
[ ] visited a foreign state
[ ] cooked a disastrous meal
[x] lost something important to me
[x] got a gift I love
[x] realized something new about myself
[ ] tried to gain weight
[ ] dyed my hair
[ ] came close to losing my life
[x] someone close to me died
[x] went to a wild party...well, not necessarily wild...
[ ] got arrested
[x] read a great book
[x] saw a great movie
[ ] saw a movie so scary that it made me cry
[ ] saw a favorite band live
[x] did something that I want to tell someone but can't
[x] experienced something new
[x] made new friends
[x] found out who my real friends are
[ ] lied to my parents
[ ] snuck out
[ ] got in trouble with police
[ ] kissed in a pool
[x] kissed under the stars
[ ] did an illegal drug
[x] went to a party
[x] had the time of your life
[x] danced
[ ] fell out of love
[x] had a crush on someone
[ ] changed your sexual preference
[x] swam in a pool
[ ] made a snowman
[ ] went snowboarding
[ ] went sledding
[  ] slept in past 2pm
[x] held someones hand
[x] held someones hand that you care about
[x] told someone you like them as more than a friend
[x] went on vacation
[x] gone on vacation with a friend
[x] driven a car
[ ] played strip poker
[x] danced in the rain
[ ] saw someone get in a car accident
[ ] got in a fist fight
[x] laughed until you couldn't breathe
[x] had an amazing year
[x] missed someone
[ ] got hit by car
[ ] sent someone to the hospital
[ ] got a new pet
[x] enjoyed this year
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(kein Betreff) [Jan. 11., 2007|04:11 pm]
[Aktuelle Stimmung |cheerfulcheerful]
[Aktuelle Musik |Ben Folds - Rockin' the suburbs]

Woah, York is underwater!

I decided to go for a blustery walk, and had to completely alter my route or I would have drowned! It was pretty crazy seeing a whole park, in which I spent sunday afternoon, totally underwater. Anyway I discovered a whole new part of York and a whole old Bright Eyes album, so I was happy, despite getting totally lost.

The first stage of my trip around Europe has been booked: Leeds to Milan on monday 9th July! Wooo! I'm so excited! I want to chop off all my hair and get a big tribal tattoo...maybe not. 

Tomorrow I get to hand in my phonetic transcription. I feel I should be spending more time on it but I'm going round and round and round in circles and it's silly. Then all my worries will be gone maybe.

I am knitting and I am good.
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Happy New Year and all that... [Jan. 9., 2007|04:22 pm]
[Aktuelle Stimmung |crankycranky]
[Aktuelle Musik |Damien Rice]

I want pyjamas and girly films and wine and chocolate.

But this will do...

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